real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
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