But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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