Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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