are you still at the devil's house?
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
