do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
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