I cockslap morals
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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