Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Randomize
