So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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