You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Randomize
