i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Don't EVER smell your tampon
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
