Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
