ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
i already hear my dad disowning me
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
