whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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