she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Randomize
