I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
You're a waste of cheezeits
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Randomize
