They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
