No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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