wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
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