i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
