the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
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