you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Randomize
