just tell him i said nine months
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
