Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
