I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Randomize
