He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
well you can't waste a boner
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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