I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Randomize
