Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Hippo gnu deer
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Randomize
