wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Randomize
