Need sex. Gaining weight.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
