i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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