Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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