chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
