I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Randomize
