I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
