What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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