so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
