Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
