Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
