I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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