I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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