i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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