why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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