sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
