no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Randomize
