just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
