My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
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