Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Randomize
