I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
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