Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Randomize
