I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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