a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
he shaved USA in his pubs
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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