I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Randomize
