So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Randomize
