Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
